Muscles

Sharing

Sausage

I am currently sitting at the dining table with Judah, 30 minutes past his bedtime.  So far he has had the same piece of chicken apple sausage in his mouth for 1 hour.  He's not crying, or looking mad.  He's just staring at me with the sausage in his mouth and lips puckered.  THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING BEHAVIOR OF ANY BEHAVIOR EVER EVER!!!!!!!!  Just sayin'.  This kid has an iron will.  I am hoping that sticking it out with him will nip this lame-o behavior in the bud.  Who wants to sit at the table for hours on end with food in their mouth?  RIGHT?  Please, oh please.  Oh well, the rest of his day was quite super. 

Actually, this morning had some cuteness.  Judah and Wyatt have been at eachother's throats a lot lately.  I am constantly reminding Judah to share, and trying to show him how.  This morning, Wyatt kept trying to grab what Judah would play with.  Judah would start to get mad, so I'd remind him to play nice.  A switch flipped, and he realized how much easier it is to just find something else for Wyatt to play with.  He was happily finding all sorts of things to share and saying "Look, Wyatt!  It's a ____________."  So I guess the lesson of the week is that repetition pays off with a two year old.  It's amazing what he picks up on but saves for later, heh.

So he finally spat out the sausage.  I gave him another piece but cut it in half this time.  He chewed, swallowed, and then started talking up a storm.  I told him I was proud of him.  He ate another bite without being asked...chewed, swallowed, then said "sorry, Mommy."  Since I have typed this, he has finished his whole pile of sausage.  HALLELUJAH!

Now he is telling me "No beans!  No carrots!"  They are not even on the menu tonight.  And now he's saying "Dirty shirt.  Wet shirt.  This one's a dirty shirt.  Need wipe!"

Socialization and a Messy Home

We put off the usual weekend home tidying to visit friends, and were gone the majority of the time.  Turns out, this is exactly what we needed.  Socialization!  The kids are fighting WAY less, and are generally less whiny. 

I know my patience has been running thin with Judah, but I think I've been reminded enough through reading and talking that...this is how two year olds act much of the time.  We'll make it.

Swimming

"Judah, did you have fun with Daddy?"

"Yes."

"What did you do in the swimming pool?"

"Splash...and...kick feet...and wash hands and wash face...and...Miss Lilly!"

"Did you blow bubbles?"

"Yes.  Fishies."

Perspective

Well that was an emotional outburst.  Thanks Ang, Mom, Sarah and almost Abby for the much needed perspective.  I think I have just hit a mid-winter wall, and am burnt out. 

I love my kids.  I'm not the first person to be overwhelmed by motherhood, or the first to have kids close together, or the first to have a kid with sensory issues, or the first to have a kid with allergies, or the first to have kids who fight a lot.  I'm not the first to make mistakes thus discouraging myself and digging the hole even deeper.  I think what we need to do is stop dwelling on how hard it is.  This week I have felt physically depressed, like I just don't want to attend to all the needs that keep popping up throughout the day.  I just want to sit on the couch with my husband, eat chocolate and watch River Monsters (best show ever).  It's winter, and I forget how much my brain reacts to that.

And truthfully, after talking to a friend who also has kids close together (and double the amount), it sounds like we had a similar week.  I don't want to downplay the experience of parents who have one kid so far.  That's dumb and immature.  At the same time, I am recognizing that having two DOES make things a lot harder for us.  Being alone with one or the other feels like such a breeze to me.  Right now Wyatt and I are hanging out while Judah is out swimming with Lon.  This is nice...ahhhh.  Last night I took Judah for a walk in the cold.  It was hard at times due to his rascally behavior, but I was fully present to deal with it.  Normally I'm trying to deal with that WHILE carrying my large non-walking 1 year old.  So...yeah.  I think it's realistic to admit that we got ourselves into a difficult situation, and it's gonna take awhile for this family to self-regulate.

I just don't want to stay in this pity party.  I already feel so selfish and inward.  So snap out of it, Kelley.

Hopefully getting away for a day will help.  We're going to meet up with friends in the Dells this week and take all the children to an indoor waterpark.  Yay.

Hard

I'm trying to find a positive spin on life with the boys lately, but am coming up short!  It seems that nothing I do is quite enough to keep these kids (one in particular) from crying 1/2 the day.  I know this isn't always our life, so I shouldn't feel hopeless, but some weeks just SUCK as a full-time mom.  So far motherhood has not been the blissful experience that I have heard so much about.  Much of the time I am barely surviving, so I guess I must be doing something wrong.  Perhaps we were wrong in having two so close together.  The work load/stress more than doubled, but I would NEVER give Wyatt back.  Honestly some days I just marvel at families who have one toddler to tote around like a cute little accessory.  Sorry, it's just one of those weeks. 

Re-purposed Laptop

Judah is officially scared of the dark, which just adds to our getting him to bed drama fun time.  The first night he woke up crying and said he was scared of the wall and the curtain.  We talked him through that, and turned on a night light.  Last night before bed we talked about not being afraid, about the wall and the curtain (again), and he seemed to feel better.  He asked for music but their CD player is busted.  Instead I left my laptop in their room with the 'soundscapes and lullabies' station on Pandora radio.  They both slept well.  We don't have the TV on when the kids are awake.  The scariest thing he has ever viewed was The Land Before Time once.  Otherwise they just watch videos of aquatic animals and whatnot.  I'm not sure where he's getting this fear, but I suppose his imagination is blooming.  I remember experiencing this as a child, and it was no joke to me at the time :-(

In other news, I am finding that teaching a child empathy is the biggest challenge yet.  He is picking on Wyatt A LOT.  Yesterday Wyatt was awfully tired, and therefore sobbing before nap.  I couldn't find his elephant anywhere, but I knew it had been in his crib a few minutes earlier.  After searching for 20 minutes with no help from Judah, I confronted him about it directly (since I knew he was the one who hid it).  I took his RayRay in my arms and said "See how Mommy has your RayRay?  Does that make you feel sad?"

"Yes"

"Do you hear Wyatt crying?  He is sad because Judah hid his elephant."

"Yeah."

"Now please go get his elephant."

The little stinker marched directly to the elephant's hidden location and brought it to Wyatt.

So frustrating!  


On a lighter note, Judah walked past my bedroom door first thing in the morning.  A minute later he was back with his stick horse beteen his legs.  I said "Oh, are you a cowboy?"

"Yes.  Yee-hah, yee-hah.  Horsey.  Neigh.  Neigh, neigh."  There was no expression in his voice whatsoever, lol. 

On a Sad Note...

A good friend of mine had an unfathomably crappy week after seeing two children pass on in the hospital.  One child was 12 years, the other 4 months.

One does not need to personally know those who suffer the loss of a child to feel on some level the gravity of their pain.  Today I feel sorrow for these families, and the families of many many others who don't make it as far in life as hoped or expected. 

New life begins with joy.  As a birth professional I see it regularly.  In those pure moments when parents see and hold their child for the first time the 'what if's' are hidden.  What's ahead for this baby?  Suffering?  Death?  Yes and yes, truth be told.  These things are the destiny of anyone who is human.  The question is, how many days, weeks, months, or years will we be graced with our beautiful childrens presence and gifted with the task of loving them and parenting them?  To live in the moment seems to be the best choice available.  Children who pass before their time are not a waste of time.  In four months, a little baby can fill a mother's heart thus changing it forever. 

All that to say, I kissed my children doubly today and stared at them in wonder and thankfulness.  This is why every little milestone in their lives matters, along with each kiss, hug, or tear shed.  My children are precious to me, and I am humbled to have such a healthy and beautiful family.

An Evening Walk with Judah

*After choosing to turn right instead of go straight:
Mom: "Where are we going?"
J: "Judah going...to Nana's house."
Mom: "Oh?  Where is Nana's house?"
J: "This way.  Not this way, THAT way."
Mom: "That way?"
J: "Not that way, THIS way."

*Passing a man walking his dog:
J: "No Kitty Cat!  DOG!  Hot gog hot gog hot diggy dog.......SQUIRREL!"

*Unrelated to this evening's walk, we were leaving the house on a snowy day this week when Judah heard a loud noise outside (which was a snowblower).  He asked "what's that?"  Before I could answer, he replied to himself, "Combine...yeah...combine."

*Unrelated to any of this, he must have been relaxed because he let a big poop loose in the bathtub this afternoon.  I heard him screaming hysterically, "What's that!  What's that!" (as if he doesn't know).  I walked into the bathroom to find him trying to scale the bathtub wall in order to avoid the very large item he'd created.  He was quite upset, and wanted out immediately as the thing loomed closer to his legs.  To be fair, he's not used to interacting with his waste in such a manner.  We cleaned him up and put the stuff in the toilet, where I showed him how it goes bye-bye when we flush.  He seemed very interested, and I thought maybe this event would be the ticket.  However, it appears that it just traumatized him as he was terrified to have a bath later (2 baths in one day due to a messy dinner).  He wanted out immediately and was clenching his butt cheeks together screaming, "Diaper!  Diaper!  No poop in tub!  Diaper!"  As if poop is just going to fall out of his butt or something.  It takes a little more effort than that, young one.

Wyatt Snuggles with the 'Rents

Step 1: Wake up and alert parents with a few bold "AHHH!'s" followed by an attempt to open the bedroom door through slats in crib
Step 2: Get in big bed, crawl to mama, nurse
Step 3: Bite mama
Step 4: Press face against mama's to commence snuggling, hold for 5 seconds
Step 5: Sit bolt upright, look around, slam body back down on mama/bed making sure to land somewhere near mama's full bladder
Step 6: Steam-roll mama.  Thighs, past full bladder, and all the way up to mama's face.  Reverse.
Step 7: Repeat step 6
Step 8: Sit up, then slam body down next to mama's to commence snuggling, hold for 5 seconds
Step 9: Sit bolt upright, crawl over mom who has become a bore, find dada
Step 10: Lay across dada
Step 11: Steam-roll dada's face
Step 12: Crawl back to mama, and repeat steps 4-11

Ahhhhhhhh...

Sitting on my tushie, and that is where I will remain until bedtime.  Mom, call me if you get the time.

Recapping the day

Wyatt has excellent motor planning.  This DOES NOT leave this blog, but during the witching hour I gave him animal crackers on his securely-fastened highchair tray.  Judah had his crackers in-hand while playing.  The mood went from chaotic to serene, so I excused myself for a few minutes to tidy up in the living room.  When I came back, WYATT WAS PLAYING ON THE FLOOR.  Judah was carrying around the highchair tray.  I looked at Judah with horror, and he simply said "Wa-Wat fell down."  Not only did I think Judah could figure out how to get the tray off, I had no clue Wyatt was a ninja!  He did not cry, make a thumping noise, nuthin'.  I walked in and he was just playing peacefully on the floor, no wounds or injuries apparent.  WHAT THE HECK.

Later, when Judah opened the front door to go upstairs where Owen lives (I guess he was bored...?), I watched Wyatt follow close behind.  By the time I got to the door he was already up 4 of the stairs.  I continued to follow him up all three flights of stairs.  This child has no fear, so thank God for his ninja skills.  I swear that big brother is gonna be steering him to mischief and mayhem for many years.  I just hope its somewhat safe mischief and mayhem.  /sigh

Other stuff:

Judah told me today that he 'wuvs Daddy'
Judah opened up the front door to the sound of 'uncle John' coming down the stairs and yelled 'screw up!'  HUH?????? 
Judah has so far gotten out of bed twice tonight.
Wyatt, in attempting to pull his bib off, made the cutest He-Man face I've ever seen, and it made the whole day seem brighter in retrospect.
Lonnie is making me mac and cheese, so I am a happy girl.

Thus concludes today.

Brr...!

A friend and I took our kids to the park, despite very cold weather!  Wyatt really needs to learn to walk so he can have some fun too.  Judah said he had fun with his friends, so I guess it was a success for at least one boy!

Dinner was tasty, and we ALL consumed large quantities: Turkey meatballs, risotto, squash/zucchini steamed with butter in tin foil in the oven.  So easy.  Wyatt, in between bites, would clench up his whole body and shake vigourously until we'd acknowledge his trick and say "big muscles!".  Then he'd raise his hands in the air for 'sooo BIG!' 

To bed early.

A Full Day

Tonight went MUCH better for Judah. Here is a key ingredient: No napping into the late afternoon. Wear that boy out, so he fights it less at bedtime. He only got out of bed twice, cried for his cars and trucks once, and it has been blissfully quiet here for a good stretch.

Many are wondering how Wyatt is doing.  He's very well, considering.  <I don't know why this formatting is all funky so enjoy the bold font.>  The cheek is healing up well, and he'll get the stitches out on Friday.  I am still heartbroken over the fact that his kissable baby cheeks have been tainted by this.  I'm all for boys havin' their scars, but I would have preferred the first one to come a bit later in his life...he's only 12 months old.  I hate myself a little right now for what happened to him, but thankful at the same time that it wasn't an inch higher (eye).

Judah went up to his friend's house to play this morning.  Spontaneous play date, except my friend is so awesome she didn't require me to attend initially.  I had a very peaceful breakfast, and showered without anyone trying to throw ducks at me.  Later we all attended gymnastics class, where Judah was an outright pill half the time.  I'm just thankful these boys can run off/crawl off some steam.  I also spent much of the day cooking, which RARELY happens.  I do not feel that my mommy resume is at all tainted by my lack of culinary passion.  On rare occasion, however, I really enjoy it.  I like to make healthy stuff, so maybe that's the ticket:

- Lentil-Barley Soup (sans 'soup mix', used chix broth instead)

- These muffins will put hair on your back.  Not really.  Morelike...milk in your nursers and smarts in your brains...?

- Also made



Sleep Training...Again?

So the first week of Judah's big boy bed freedom went fine because it did not dawn on him that he could get out and monkey around.  I suppose this was not unlike the phenomenon of circus elephants.

Eventually he discovered the truth, and has been living it up in there after we turn out the lights.  We tried simply putting him back in over and over.  We tried taking away his RayRay for 5 minutes as a consequence.  Tonight we are trying the ignore method, hoping that the lack of attention will bore him and he'll go to sleep. 

For his nap today, it took an hour to fall asleep.  Finally I went in and snuggled with him 'till he drifted off.  Should we try this at night?  We also did warm milk, but he thought that it was "too hot hot".

It's 9pm and he's looking at books in pitch black.  Hmm...if anyone has any tips, feel free to share.  Darnit now I'm hearing moo-ing and baa-ing from some book in there.  Perhaps we'll take the books out until he gets it.

Lonnie is forcing me to watch Karate Kid.

Coco Tee

* Judah as he holds his binky up in the air before nap:  "Binky flying...tweet!  Bird, tweet tweet!  No, bird.  Airplane!  Psssssss..." 

* "Daddy...COME...home.  SOON!  Daddy home...soon!  Miss daddy.  Daddy bye-bye."

* "Daddy wuv Judah.  Wa-wat...wuv Wa-Wat.  Nate!  Desond (Desmond) wuv...Wa-Wat!"  He talks about Nate A LOT since he hears him upstairs all day.

 * Judah is...shall I say passionate about his ABC's.  Not only do we hear the abc song at all hours of the day, he is beginning to practice phonics.  "D!  d...d...drum!" and so on.  At first I thought he was just memorizing the words we associated with the letters, but I guess he's actually understanding the concept because he keeps coming up with new words that start with various letters.  I think it's really cute, but sometimes I wonder if this kid is slightly OCD, lol. 

Anyways, he loves the book pictured on the left.  In it a bunch of letters climb up a coconut tree then come tumbling down.  While playing with this stacking toy today, which he believes to be a 'Kissmas Tee", he started pretending the abc's were falling from it: "Oh no!  Eveebody fall DOWN!  Abc's...oh no!  Chicka boom boom!  H fall...coco tee!"

I just have to write this stuff down.  I can't believe he's finally starting to talk, and I guess as his mom I think everything he says is fantastic, lol.  :-D

Sauce

I have been doing dishes with this, and a bit of lemon juice today (which I've been meaning to try for awhile).  It cleans really well if you can get over not having bubbles. 

Anyways, that's boring.


Wyatt is getting a new tooth.  No wonder he has been seeming to want to ween.  His mouth hurts!  Hopefully he doesn't ween fully, as I'd like to keep at it for awhile more...especially with his allergies.  And speaking of allergies, he had a reaction to our friends' dog last night.  The little guy got all itchy and red-faced after being at their house for a while.

Judah today:

* "No Nate!"
Me: "Why not?"
"Go byebye!"
Me: "Oh?  Where did he go?"
"Under...the BED!"

* While listening to classical music: "I heawa (hear a)...dwum. Boom Boom! Mhmm...Yah." Me: "What else do you hear?" J: "Notes! Chwewwo (cello), vaowin (violin)...Mhmm."

* My droning is paying off:
"Fwoot woahwup (fruit roll-up).  No yucky!  YUMMY."

* Confession: Sometimes when I'm feeling lazy for lunch, I make Wyatt food purees aka BABY FOOD.  Today I did the same for Judah.  Now, he loves applesauce, so it's not a far stretch.  But I made him a big bowl of pureed squash, pureed pear, and whole wheat w/ Iron.  He asked "what's that?"  I replied, "pear sauce."  Judah: "Pear sauce!  No yucky...YUMMY!"  And after finishing one bowl: "MORE SAUCE!!!"  And of course I tell him to use his manners, which he almost always responds with "say peas, manners."

Judah This Week

Yesterday Judah and I were laying on the bed during rest time.  He blurted out, "Yummy!"  I said, "What is yummy?"

"Cake!  Happy Birthday!"

I asked whose birthday it was.  He said it was Judah's...and Wyatt's.  When I informed him that sadly they had to wait 'till next year for more birthdays, he replied "no happy birthday next year."  I thought he'd dropped the matter.  A few minutes later I decided to engage him in deep discussion.

"Judah, what do you like?"

"Books....and....cuddles...and...cake.  Happy Birthday!"

"What else do you like?"

"Cuddles...and...Ray-ray...and...cake!"

/HINT HINT

He has been learning about specific musical instruments lately, and is trying to identify which he is hearing in this instrumental ocean video we have.  "Violin?"  Me: "Nope."

"Oboe!"

"Yep."

Also, I just have to make note that I have no idea what to do with a physically active preschooler.  He was not active as a toddler, and we spent most of our time just practicing how to climb up stairs and go down slides.  Yesterday he attended his first gymnastics class.  I was scared that he would hate it and cry the whole time, but instead he ran around giggling maniacly.  He ran across a giant trampoline, got up and down from it himself, hung from hanging rings, a gymnastics bar, went across the balance beam, up some squishy stairs, and giggled the whole time.  Suddenly I was the mom whose kid was out of control and not listening to instructions.  He ran away from me several times, which just freaks me right out.  He used to be so easy to manage in those situations!  Now we have to start from scratch with learning how and why to stay close to mom in public.  All in all, I am THRILLED that he is doing this stuff.  We'll take care of the naughtiness it produces as we go.  It's worth it.

The rest of the day he talked about what he did at the gym, and who had fun.

"Judah...fun!  Wa-Wat...fun!  Marcy...fun!  Owen..fun!"

Confession

I usually snuggle Judah before he falls asleep on the big bed for nap.  Today I fell asleep too, drooled all over, and woke up from a horrible dream involving my parents, kids, Christmas, a strange house, and a bunch of mermaids.  Being very upset but still very groggy, I bee-lined for the kitchen and ate 3 chocolate truffles in a row.  Then I woke up fully and realized I needed a sandwhich, and to get my hiney in gear for Judah's first gymnastics class.  30 minute walk in the cold!  Hooray!  No hard feelings, mom.

Some updates

This entry is going to be hodge podge.

First off are my new year's resolutions.  Yes, I have some this year after forgoing them last time since all I could hope for was survival as a mom of 2 little ones.  First goal: Drink more water.  Second goal: Consume less sugar.  Third and most important goal: Stop picking at my poor face!!

Wyatt had an allergic reaction to peanut butter (we think) yesterday.  He started crying, his lips puffed up, and his skin looked MORE bumpy and red than usual.  We rushed him off to the E.R., only to notice that the swelling had stopped and he'd nodded peacefully to sleep.  Instead we called our nurse friend who advised us to just give him some antihistamine.  He's fine now, but I am eager to get him into that allergist and figure out what he can and cannot eat.  He has had peanut butter many times, but I guess not for several weeks.  Perhaps his body decided to be angry about that.  Anyways, we spent too much money at Whole Foods on eczema creams and whatnot, but I am happy to say they are helping.  I picked up a California Baby calendula cream, and have been applying it several times a day, along with some pure vitamin E oil, and before bed (to lock in moisture) he gets some lanolin all up on that!  Hehe, that stuff is for nipples, and is made from something secreted by wool bearing animals.  Even since yesterday his skin has become softer and less irritated.  He's also taking a homeopathic allergy mix to help him recover from the peanut butter incident.

OK.  Wyatt and words: Wyatt is saying 'mama', 'dada', 'babye', 'hi', 'duck', and now 'ahdone!'  He is mooing and oinking as well.  I was bribing him with coconut ice cream today.  The ice cream was withheld until he'd repeat some resemblance of 'more'.  Me: Wyatt, say 'more!'...Wyatt: "Na-dada!'  Ice cream.  Me: Wyatt, say 'MORE.'...Wyatt: 'DAAA!  DA DA!'  Ice cream.

Judah has been changing A LOT over the past month.  He is becoming a physically active boy, and I don't know what to do with the little guy anymore!  He climbs on stuff, tries to wrestle and jump, and stomps around the house giggling wildly or sobbing (depending on his mood, of course).  As a result of all this, he has become much more social, and is goofing off with kids his age.  HUZZAH!  He's also talking up a storm, which is my favorite because I can be more effective in meeting the many needs and demands of this 2 year old.  The best request of late is before his naps: "Snuggle, mama."  /Gush  Today he was strumming his guitar and sang as follows: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G...Baa-baa black sheep hava hava wool...Tinkle Tinkle wittle star, howa wa wa what ah are..."  There is so much more, and I'm finding I can't keep track of all the things I want to remember about this phase in his life.

One last thought for this entry: I am SO grateful for all of our family and friends.  I concluded this holiday season with a warm and fuzzy-ish feeling in my heart/brain.  We have so many wonderful people in our lives.  I wish I had more time to write about that, but it seems Wyatt is unwilling to nap at the moment!