Weekend Review

This weekend was spent socializing, brewing beer, and attending a powow.  In order:

Socializing: We hosted a D&D event on Friday night with some friends who were new to the game (me included).  Some of us really got into it, some of us realized we have no acting ability whatsoever, while others noted that it's difficult to stay in character while trying to sleep-train a baby. 
On Saturday night some friends came over.  We had 4 babies to 4 adults, and were impressed with our ability to juggle them all whilst eating.  Later we attempted to play a zombie game.  The men argued over rules and us ladies put on a comedy show for ourselves, which culminated in my attempt to hide dice up my sleeve.  I guess you had to be there.

Brewing beer: We lived in our pajamas on Saturday while we cleaned house, cooked, played guitar, and yes...brewed beer (only Lonnie can take credit for the latter).  I kind-of liked the smell, honestly.  Lonnie followed the instructions to a 't', so hopefully it will turn out tasty and delicious.  It will be a month or 2 before we can try it.

Powow: Most readers know that Lonnie grew up among First Nations people.  Few readers know that my first elementary school was something like half Ojibwe.  I recall the school talent shows where it was commonplace to see a classmate dressed in traditional attire dancing to drums.  One of the courses all students took was Ojibwe Education, where we learned to bead and listened to native folk stories told from memory by an Ojibwe elder.  Anyways, it brought back lots of memories (many, many more for Lonnie).  The boys tried their first indian Fry Bread and loved it.  Judah thought the dancers were pretty interesting.  I also recieved a free flu shot.  Booyah.

End of the Week Blargh, I Mean Blog

 Well, we topped off a long week with an evening of Thai food and too strong beer.  Wyatt + Thai = bad news.  He learned to love the 'splat' noise that noodles make when they hit the floor, and I believe he shoved some egg roll down his pants.  Judah enjoyed the food, but not nearly as much as the bubble tea.  Once he discovered what I called 'gummies' (tapioca), however, it was a different story.  He'd get a mouthful of them through the straw and make the most adorably perturbed faces.  Not his cup o' bubble tea.

Rather than take them to the cold, dark park for the 2nd time today, I opted to brave an afternoon/evening on the floor with them in the living room.  They've both been so listless since the weather changed, despite my efforts to get them out.  These boys just don't want to be preoccupied with toys and fun when they could follow me around the house whining and crying.  Anyways, it worked.  I have read in books and know from experience that children's anxiety levels plummet when adults get down on their 'level'.  So we played for 3 hours straight.  We banged on instruments, built towers, knocked them down, wrestled, etc.  Today I learned that Judah has an eye for design.  He quietly worked on many different castle configurations with his blocks.  I also learned that Wyatt is an expert harmonica player.  He does it really well!  The look on his face was quite special when he figured out how to make real music instead of just humming into it :-D

I went back into the room after tucking them in due to some crying.  Judah was saying "Ni-night, WaWat (Wyatt).  I said, "Judah, do you want to hug Wyatt goodnight?"  He looked at me (the absence of a firm "No!" usually means yes).  I laid Wyatt by his side in the bed.  Judah rolled over, hugged Wyatt, said "Wuv you" and gave him a kiss ("muah!"). 

My boys are smart, handsome, and funny...and that includes Lonnie who has been cheering me up all week amidst exhaustion and chaos.  Last night at the dinner table both children were crying top volume.  I was hoping to come up with a clever strategy for dealing, but instead my mind started to wander to distant places like libraries and vacant woods.  Lonnie looked at me and started cracking up.  "Sometimes you just have to laugh...I mean, look at us.  It's like the movies..." 

It's true!  These boys!  "I hate my dinner.  Oh, but I'm so hungry!  Okay, I guess I'll take a bite.  Mmmm....NO, no more bites.  Okay well maybe one more but I'm NOT happy about it!" -Wyatt.  "I want juice but Mommy is making me finish my milk.  There are only 2 gulps of milk until my juice freedom, but I will NEVER be able to finish 2 WHOLE GULPS!  This is the end of all things!  Oh DEAR!!!!" - Judah.

LOL.

Double meaning

Last night before bed Lonnie and Judah were playing on the floor.  Lonnie said to Judah, "I love you...my son."

Judah paused thoughtfully, and replied "MOON!"

My Wyatt

Not-so-little Wyatt is going to be a YEAR old in a month.  He is exceedingly adorable and makes me smile on a regular basis.  Lately he has been a very busy boy, working his way through the apartment leaving all sorts of things in his wake for me to clean up.  Finally, oh FINALLY he has begun to crawl in a more acceptable fashion :-P.  It's a combination of army/caterpillar crawl, normal crawl, pulling up, standing, getting into stuff, plopping back down, and repeating. 
I'm actually trying to get him to nap as I write this.  I returned to a noisy room to find him sitting up in bed talking to his stuffed elephant, and then I smelled poop.  Great (he has had the butt squirts today...ew).  I got him cleaned up, and the moment I let go of his ankles he flipped over and mooned me.  I flipped him back over, put on the clean diaper, and tucked him in.  I turned around to look at Judah, then turned back to Wyatt who was standing in his bed smiling.  I gently layed him back down and rushed out of the room, seeing him standing up again from the corner of my eye.  /sigh...
He's also starting to talk a little:
"Mamama!"
"Dadat!"
"Hi!" (first word)
"Ba ba!" (for sheep and goats)
Experimenting with phonemes:
"Ka"
"Pa..pa"
Etc.

Today he seemed distraught that Lonnie was leaving for work, so I carried him to the door to say goodbye one last time.  "Wyatt, say byebye!"  Wyatt: "Baaaah!" /whilst waving frantically at Lonnie with both arms.  Lonnie left and then the little guy started crying...Aww.

Trick-or-Treatin'

I hate to say we are a Halloween celebrating family.  I dislike the 'holiday' in general, and think it quite tacky.  What is not tacky, however, are my adorable children made even more adorable dressed up as cuddly animals with painted noses.  I'll seize that photo-op for now.  Wyatt was a Tiger (costume passed down from Judah, passed down from Sarah S.'s kids), and Judah was a fire dog.  Judah walked to the mirror once his costume was complete and giggled with delight that he was a 'white puppy.'

We found a nice spot to trick-or-treat in the neighborhood.  Wyatt hung with Dad and gave him kisses but didn't have a clue what was going on.  Judah exclaimed 'Wow!  Candy', and 'Mo' candy!' several times.  UGH.  Luckily the next day he'd completely forgotten about his stash.

Here are some pics:

First semi-independent trick-or-treat

This dog is on a mission

Kissin'

Eyes

Awwww...

Wyatt shared his nose smudge with Daddy

Aaron came along!

Childhood

Judah always held up the line, making careful selections

Love this boy

Wyatt goes for the gold

Judah is in character, panting like a dog at those chips

Doula-ing, as Lonnie puts it...

I truly love this line of work.  I don't like the idea of being on-call and having to wake up from a deep sleep at midnight to go to a hospital.  BUT, once there and in the zone with the mother it is the most rewarding thing I can imagine doing outside of parenthood.

Last night was a wonderful experience, and it definately helped me grow as a doula.  This mother needed someone to talk to.  She was in active labor, but in between each contraction she'd go right back to telling me all about her children, her job, her ex-husband, and just life in general.  Animated.  I was astonished.  After some time I was able to get her to sleep during her breaks from contractions, and that's when her labor got intense.  An hour later she was ready to push, and 30 minutes after that she had a baby!  It was really neat to witness such instinctual childbirth.  I guided her, but she definately followed her instincts and worked that baby out with her own strength.  It never gets old!

I'm learning that a doula wears many hats.  I feel that each time I go to a birth I add a new hat to my collection, so I guess that's progress!

Judah

Every time the boys and I attend a playgroup situation, I am reminded of Judah's struggle with SPD.  It generally only comes up when there are other children in his environment.  While I abhor labeling him, he is currently a textbook case for having a vestibular dysfunction.  Here is a checklist for some of what that looks like for Judah:

1. Hypersensitivity To Movement (Over-Responsive):
__ avoids/dislikes playground equipment; i.e., swings, ladders, slides, or merry-go-rounds - Yes, but he has always loved swings
__ prefers sedentary tasks, moves slowly and cautiously, avoids taking risks, and may appear "wimpy" - Yep
__ avoids/dislikes elevators and escalators; may prefer sitting while they are on them or, actually get motion sickness from them - N/A
__ may physically cling to an adult they trust - In social situations, yes
__ may appear terrified of falling even when there is no real risk of it - YES
__ afraid of heights, even the height of a curb or step - hehe, YES
__ fearful of feet leaving the ground - Sort-of
__ fearful of going up or down stairs or walking on uneven surfaces - yes
__ afraid of being tipped upside down, sideways or backwards; will strongly resist getting hair washed over the sink - Allows this with people he trusts
__ startles if someone else moves them; i.e., pushing his/her chair closer to the table - N/A
__ as an infant, may never have liked baby swings or jumpers - WRONG.  Loved them both.
__ may be fearful of, and have difficulty riding a bike, jumping, hopping, or balancing on one foot (especially if eyes are closed) - N/A
__ may have disliked being placed on stomach as an infant - YEP
__ loses balance easily and may appear clumsy - yes
__ fearful of activities which require good balance - yes
__ avoids rapid or rotating movements - much of the time

All of these little 'quirks' lead to one issue for Judah, which can be summed up in one word: ANXIETY.

:-(

All that to say: When I wonder why it seems like I'm always the mom at playtime who is trying to calm her child down while the others play peacefully and independently, I ought to remember that my child has some extra hurdles to overcome and give him a little grace.  Instead of expecting him to act 'normal' or 'like the other kids' I should accept/remember that perhaps he's not 'normal' and perhaps that is okay.  It's likely that I'm not a 'normal' mom either.  Raising a child with even the slightest special need throws the whole motherhood experience in a different direction.  I can't imagine being in the shoes of those who have far more to deal with.  For the most part, Judah is a typical 2 year old.  But there are things we struggle with due to his SPD that many never experience.  It's hard for me to withhold judgments of parents who think it's so hard raising perfectly normal and developmentally on-track children.  "Honestly?  You're complaining because your child eats a lot, gets into everything, and doesn't know how to share by the time they're 15 months old?"  Geez.  I know I shouldn't think this way, and for the most part I kick those thoughts to the curb.  But sometimes...

So here are the questions: What is 'normal', anyways?  Does 'normal' matter?  Do I want a 'normal' child, or do I want what's 'normal' for Judah, my unusual child?  I choose the latter, because I choose Judah with all his quirks.  When Alice (of Alice in Wonderland) asked her father if she was odd, he simply said, "Probably, but usually the best people are."  I love that little boy.  I want to help him succeed, but I don't want to change who he is.  He is smart, funny, and loving and I will take the extra work load if it means being Judah's mom just one more day.